December 2011
37 posts
All I want is to go downstairs in my PJ’s for a Gatorade and a slice of cold pizza, but I can’t. I can’t because two German Jehovah’s Witnesses came to our door at 9:30 and my dad invited them in.
WHO DOES THAT. I CAN’T EVEN NURSE MY HANGOVER RIGHT NOW.
classydanger asked: Your facebook status made me laugh so hard while I locked myself in the bathroom hiding from my brother and his girlfriend and polite conversation and saw it on my phone. So thanks for that. Merry Christmas
1 tag
GPOY when it snowed for the first time this winter the other day (I LIVE IN CHICAGO BRING ON ALL THE SNOW MORE SNOW GIMME SNOW).
2 tags
As a pour myself some more bourbon ...
My dad: Are you gonna drink yourself to sleep?
Me: No, to death.
2 tags
1 tag
eraep asked: MORE CRAIG DAVID LESS EVERYTHING ELSE
1 tag
I’ve been in a weird funk lately and I’m not saying that watching this cured everything, but it made me feel like I’m not losing my mind. Also I know this is old but suck an egg call the cops.
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
attractive person: hi
me: who put you up to this
2 tags
Hey remember when Roseanne made me cry harder than...
I do. It was just now.
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
Weird Times I've Cried in the Past 3 Days
Just now, while watching an episode of Food Wars (?????????)
In an Express store
Alone in a booth at a breakfast restaurant while eating a bagel
After going on a run for the first time in 5 months
2 tags
It was the time of year, the time of day, for a small insistent sadness to pass...
– White Noise, Don Delillo (via clairefoley)
Dear males,
I don’t understand why me sitting in my bed breaking out in hives for no reason while eating melted cheese is not a turn on. Like …?? What?
- Carrie
1 tag
My dad was on SNL on Saturday …???
2 tags